Last Place Wisdom: Playoff Round One - Is the power of burgers enough or does it require something more?
John was jonesing for some more sweet, sweet burger talk, and I'm not the type of person who could turn that down. The problem is determining exactly how I want to go about it. There are all sorts of lame, burger related metaphors that I could apply to fantasy football. They go sort of like this
Playoff Matchup Preview
Make it Rain Burgers vs Gillislee Island
Travis is behind the 8-ball early in this matchup, as I had good games out of my Falcons while his best player had to leave the game early with a possible concussion. Most of us have stories about injuries messing up our chances in the playoffs, and the unfortunate part of fantasy is that this can have such a massive role in the eventual winner. My team is ripe for second guessing, as I'm likely leaving my big acquisition McKinnon on the bench, as well as not starting Collins once again despite his strong hotstreak. Travis will likely need big games from Diggs and Brate, along with his more dependable players to play well.
The Boiled Breastpumps vs the Fear Boners
Another game where a team has jumped out to an early lead on Thursday night, and Steve will have some catching up to do in this Brother Bowl playoff matchup. I don't see any high upside/high variance possibilities on his bench, so he likely has to run with what he's got in his lineup at this point. Keys for Steve will be Philly realizing they need to play Ajayi more, and hoping that Fournette can run against Seattle. Burkheart vs Lewis is another interesting thing to watch; if one of them gets more work it could swing this game, although they are both capable of having good games at the same time.
Doug and the Slugs vs NFL Owner
This is the most interesting game of the week to me, I don't know who I think has the advantage. Andrew is hoping Seattle/Jacksonville turns into a shootout somehow, and he could consider double down even further by starting Davis instead of Blount. Andrew also has a QB decision to make; LA/Philly could turn into a shootout, but then he's betting against Alex Smith who has game winning potential. Injuries and suspensions have limited Shayne's options, but he found ways to win regardless. Both of these teams are very similar, in that they managed to win despite big challenges put in their way, and for one of them their unlikely run will continue another week.
The Ross Glen Roadrunners vs BISP
Clarke has been the season long favourite, while Mike barely squeaked into the playoffs, so on paper this should be easy to call, but it's never that straightforward. If we look at just the past 5 weeks, the 2 teams would be just 3-2 in Clarke's favour, so nothing is a given. Clarke's probably happy he doesn't need to make a call on whether to play Ertz this week, and his only real decision is whether he actually starts Rivers, or fakes everyone out and switches back to Brady. Philly is a tough matchup for Gurley, and Hunt has been disappointing, so you never know. Mike has a bit of a QB decision to make, although Keenum has been playing well so it's probably already made. Mike's big decision is what to do at RB; Martin has a great matchup against Detroit, however one has to wonder if Mike takes a shot with Clement instead. Clement has only been worth playing 50% of the time, but in those 50% of games he has outscored Martin fairly easily. Jones, Hilton and Cooks all have big game potential, so it's worth heeding the immortal words of Kevin Garnett.
On the Next Last Place Wisdom
- One reason burgers are so good is that they are so dependable; unless you burn the patty, they are almost guaranteed to taste delicious. It was the #1 answer on the TFLOEG podcast Family Feud game for a reason. Sustained fantasy success requires these types of dependable "burger" players, who you can turn to when nothing else looks appealing.
Or something like this
- One of the great things about burgers is that you can build them any way you want; as long as you have a bun and some meat; you can put together something that tastes great. Wanna swap your beef for chicken? Go right ahead. Just want to stick with what you know works (bacon, lettuce, tomato, cheese, pickles, onion)? There's a reason that combination is so popular. Wanna push the boundaries of flavor town (like my personal favourite creation, the Korean Burger)? I'm looking forward to trying it. Fantasy is the same way. You can build your team around RBs like I did, or around WRs like Mike. You can either go with high end talent and draft picks like John or Clarke, or with waiver pickups and riding hot streaks like Andrew or Shayne.
There's probably a half dozen more I could come up with if I really tried, but it'd be a stretch to turn it into a full posting. However, it is just long enough to full up the intro, and it's a great excuse to think and talk about burgers.
Now that I've gotten all of you excited about burgers, I probably shouldn't let you all down by saying that despite my calling on the motivating power of char grilled meat sandwiched between a lightly toasted bun, I'm afraid my winning a championship might rely on something a little more obscure. Aiden was born December 7, 2013, and 3 weeks later the Sexy Sacks Men won my first championship. Natalyn was born May 26, 2016, and 7 months later the Keith-glorious Basterds won my second championship. If trends hold true, it looks like having a kid is the secret sauce to my fantasy football success. While it might not be looking good for Make it Rain Burgers, you all better be watching out come 2018.
(Yes, this is saying what you think it's saying, and no, our reason was not for me to win another championship. I know my saying "it gets much harder to have a life once you have 2 kids" is a bit of a meme, so I'll let you know what it's like with another added to the mix)
Playoff Matchup Preview
Make it Rain Burgers vs Gillislee Island
Travis is behind the 8-ball early in this matchup, as I had good games out of my Falcons while his best player had to leave the game early with a possible concussion. Most of us have stories about injuries messing up our chances in the playoffs, and the unfortunate part of fantasy is that this can have such a massive role in the eventual winner. My team is ripe for second guessing, as I'm likely leaving my big acquisition McKinnon on the bench, as well as not starting Collins once again despite his strong hotstreak. Travis will likely need big games from Diggs and Brate, along with his more dependable players to play well.
The Boiled Breastpumps vs the Fear Boners
Another game where a team has jumped out to an early lead on Thursday night, and Steve will have some catching up to do in this Brother Bowl playoff matchup. I don't see any high upside/high variance possibilities on his bench, so he likely has to run with what he's got in his lineup at this point. Keys for Steve will be Philly realizing they need to play Ajayi more, and hoping that Fournette can run against Seattle. Burkheart vs Lewis is another interesting thing to watch; if one of them gets more work it could swing this game, although they are both capable of having good games at the same time.
Doug and the Slugs vs NFL Owner
This is the most interesting game of the week to me, I don't know who I think has the advantage. Andrew is hoping Seattle/Jacksonville turns into a shootout somehow, and he could consider double down even further by starting Davis instead of Blount. Andrew also has a QB decision to make; LA/Philly could turn into a shootout, but then he's betting against Alex Smith who has game winning potential. Injuries and suspensions have limited Shayne's options, but he found ways to win regardless. Both of these teams are very similar, in that they managed to win despite big challenges put in their way, and for one of them their unlikely run will continue another week.
The Ross Glen Roadrunners vs BISP
Clarke has been the season long favourite, while Mike barely squeaked into the playoffs, so on paper this should be easy to call, but it's never that straightforward. If we look at just the past 5 weeks, the 2 teams would be just 3-2 in Clarke's favour, so nothing is a given. Clarke's probably happy he doesn't need to make a call on whether to play Ertz this week, and his only real decision is whether he actually starts Rivers, or fakes everyone out and switches back to Brady. Philly is a tough matchup for Gurley, and Hunt has been disappointing, so you never know. Mike has a bit of a QB decision to make, although Keenum has been playing well so it's probably already made. Mike's big decision is what to do at RB; Martin has a great matchup against Detroit, however one has to wonder if Mike takes a shot with Clement instead. Clement has only been worth playing 50% of the time, but in those 50% of games he has outscored Martin fairly easily. Jones, Hilton and Cooks all have big game potential, so it's worth heeding the immortal words of Kevin Garnett.
On the Next Last Place Wisdom
- I avoid making any predictions so as not to jinx myself or anyone else.Maybe I should predict horrible things for my team some more, considering how poorly my playoff missing call went.
- In my defense, I did say myself or Dawson would miss, so I wasn't completely off base. Sorry Dawson.
- More fantasy playoff predictions and burger talk, as I still have a job allowing me to waste time writing about what really matters.
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