Power Powell Rankings Week 5: A Few Of My Favourite Things (I Hate Everyone Equally, You Can't Tear That Out Of Me)
Sometimes a guy has writer's block, gimme a break! I just want to make sure that the product I'm putting out for league consumption passes my own standards for writing; whether it's good or not is up to you chumps! But at 15:00 on Saturday it hit me. Last week Keith pulled a Deadpool and broke the forth wall for what it's like to write these weekly recaps. While the phrase #blurredlines may be overused he's not wrong. I'm a late bloomer.
Today may have been my favourite week of 2015. I spent the week with league member, Steve and his wife (my sister) and the new bebe in the clan. I've never been shy with my intention to not hold most people's kids or talk with any optimism of the future that beholds the tiny one's existence. I get it, I can be a downer but I'd rather be an honest person that a noisy cymbal or a clanging gong. I'm not going to blow smoke up your butts and say holding my niece for the first time changed everything, but I will say there were some unexpected side effects to having her around.
I'm in awe of how much time and sleeplessness you parents dedicate to life. It's a necessary sacrifice once you've had the child I understand, but having a baby in the house I was able to see how hard it is to escape for five minutes to cram lunch down your gullet or even the relief it is for a parent to see that they've handed their kid to a competent soul (little hint if the baby starts crying don't always give it back to mama. Sometimes they need a break and with enough singing, jiggling and physical contact you will create the same desired effect). As Steve will tell you I'm not a master of this art yet (I had to put the baby in it's sleeping hammock, to put in my waiver claims), but I think I've reached another stage of enlightenment when it comes to life on the big blue marble.
After all of these fascinating facets of fuller functioning, I woke up late this morning to my cat shoving his claws deep into my back and proceeded to inform my wife that we should head to the early voting polls in an hour. After doing my democratic responsibility I took my wife on a terrific lady day. Once we were done that I had to pick up a package from Canada Post, how mundane am I right?
This was a package I scarcely expected to see due to it's tardiness. It contained my "pre-order" of the new Slayer album "Repentless". The album dropped on September 11, 2015 and I had made a promise to myself not to spoil anything about it until I had the opportunity to go through my usual Slayer Sacrament.
Anyone who's hung out with me for the last decade or longer knows that I say the best thing a human male can do for themselves is:
A) Bring a music player into the showering area.
B) Bring a six pack of easy drinking lager into the showering area.
C) Play a Slayer album whilst drinking lager in the shower.
It'll take anywhere from half and hour to forty two minutes. By the end of it all that rage or anger or angst about the state of society will have dissipated. I know people hate when I wax poetic, but I gotta tell you it makes my feel like I'm in utero. Warm water, soothing voices and chemically brought upon docility; it's glorious!
So, I got to listen to the entire new album in the shower and I gotta tell you, I'm euphoric right now. The album title Repentless is an obvious misspelling of a word that is on the tip of every Slayer fan's tongue. Since their last album, World Painted Blood, one of their guitarists has died and this album is essentially a wicker man to the ideas and philosophy that was Jeff Hanneman.
A lot of people who don't listen to Slayer believe that they're just a run of the mill thrash metal band that uses satanic iconography for business making profits. While you're not entirely wrong, I'd argue that upon listening to Slayer you'll feel uncomfortable not because of satan, but because their lyrics are used to point a mirror on the world. Keith mentioned that socialists are hypocrites in his post this week, I don't think he's wrong. That being said, I also think everyone is a hypocrite about mostly everything they believe in, but I don't think that that fact should discount the unquantifiable value that comes from the good acts they do when they're not being hypocritical to that belief system. Before I become too idealistic and postmodern I'll close off this hook, but the value of Slayer I've found is that they point out the hypocrisy in life rather then uncomfortably sliding it under the rug and that puts a smile on my face.
So in honour of an album I'm almost a full month late to, Let It Begin!!!!
1. Oh That's Nasty (Last week 1)- Slayer jumped on the map in music with their 1986 album Reign In Blood. The track that defines this album in most people's opinions is Angel of Death, it's about Joseph Mengele and the horrific human experiments he did on prisoners at Auschwitz. There's been a lot of talk that during the week 1/2 trade barrage Dawson acted in these trades without any pity. I think that now the dust has settled we can see that although his trades were shocking, they haven't really advanced him all that much. Dawson's team is unquestionably in the drivers seat of the league going forward, but that is only as long as his RBs stay healthy. Then he'll be as good as gold! Dawson is no Angel of Death, despite the early headlines.
11. Layeth The Smacketh Down (Last week 12)- Curt has spent some "Seasons In The Abyss" when it comes to the PPRs. But, last week he got that treacherous first win out of the way and I there's lot to look forward to.
12. Las Vegas Posse (Last week 10)- It sucks being the last ranked player in the rankings. I don't really take a lot of pleasure in writing the last assessment of the team in the bottom. That being said Clarke's team has a lot to look forward to going into the future. Todd Gurley was a force in his second week of playing time and Dez is looking to come back after the Cowboy's bye week in two weeks. Clarke may be a rocket moving up the ranks in the coming weeks, the more important thing though (in my opinion) is that throughout it all he stuck to his guns. It's widely reported Clarke has said "I'm playing for next year", well due to your clever drafting of rookie phonemes and your WR corp coming back to full strength sooner rather then later "next year" may be this playoffs. It's only fitting to close off our PPRs this week with the song that most embodies Clarkes "devil may care" attitude to TFLOEG, Slayer's newest single:
I'm in awe of how much time and sleeplessness you parents dedicate to life. It's a necessary sacrifice once you've had the child I understand, but having a baby in the house I was able to see how hard it is to escape for five minutes to cram lunch down your gullet or even the relief it is for a parent to see that they've handed their kid to a competent soul (little hint if the baby starts crying don't always give it back to mama. Sometimes they need a break and with enough singing, jiggling and physical contact you will create the same desired effect). As Steve will tell you I'm not a master of this art yet (I had to put the baby in it's sleeping hammock, to put in my waiver claims), but I think I've reached another stage of enlightenment when it comes to life on the big blue marble.
After all of these fascinating facets of fuller functioning, I woke up late this morning to my cat shoving his claws deep into my back and proceeded to inform my wife that we should head to the early voting polls in an hour. After doing my democratic responsibility I took my wife on a terrific lady day. Once we were done that I had to pick up a package from Canada Post, how mundane am I right?
This was a package I scarcely expected to see due to it's tardiness. It contained my "pre-order" of the new Slayer album "Repentless". The album dropped on September 11, 2015 and I had made a promise to myself not to spoil anything about it until I had the opportunity to go through my usual Slayer Sacrament.
A) Bring a music player into the showering area.
B) Bring a six pack of easy drinking lager into the showering area.
C) Play a Slayer album whilst drinking lager in the shower.
It'll take anywhere from half and hour to forty two minutes. By the end of it all that rage or anger or angst about the state of society will have dissipated. I know people hate when I wax poetic, but I gotta tell you it makes my feel like I'm in utero. Warm water, soothing voices and chemically brought upon docility; it's glorious!
So, I got to listen to the entire new album in the shower and I gotta tell you, I'm euphoric right now. The album title Repentless is an obvious misspelling of a word that is on the tip of every Slayer fan's tongue. Since their last album, World Painted Blood, one of their guitarists has died and this album is essentially a wicker man to the ideas and philosophy that was Jeff Hanneman.
A lot of people who don't listen to Slayer believe that they're just a run of the mill thrash metal band that uses satanic iconography for business making profits. While you're not entirely wrong, I'd argue that upon listening to Slayer you'll feel uncomfortable not because of satan, but because their lyrics are used to point a mirror on the world. Keith mentioned that socialists are hypocrites in his post this week, I don't think he's wrong. That being said, I also think everyone is a hypocrite about mostly everything they believe in, but I don't think that that fact should discount the unquantifiable value that comes from the good acts they do when they're not being hypocritical to that belief system. Before I become too idealistic and postmodern I'll close off this hook, but the value of Slayer I've found is that they point out the hypocrisy in life rather then uncomfortably sliding it under the rug and that puts a smile on my face.
So in honour of an album I'm almost a full month late to, Let It Begin!!!!
1. Oh That's Nasty (Last week 1)- Slayer jumped on the map in music with their 1986 album Reign In Blood. The track that defines this album in most people's opinions is Angel of Death, it's about Joseph Mengele and the horrific human experiments he did on prisoners at Auschwitz. There's been a lot of talk that during the week 1/2 trade barrage Dawson acted in these trades without any pity. I think that now the dust has settled we can see that although his trades were shocking, they haven't really advanced him all that much. Dawson's team is unquestionably in the drivers seat of the league going forward, but that is only as long as his RBs stay healthy. Then he'll be as good as gold! Dawson is no Angel of Death, despite the early headlines.
2. NFL OWNER (Last week 2)- Shayne lost, but his team still put together the second most points of the week. His team has a War Ensemble vibe to them, in my opinion. There is a sense on urgency to win. "The final swing is not a drill, it's how many people I can kill", Shayne is out to for blood this year and his team is solid enough to back up those odds. Despite Green Bay having a low scoring affair in San Francisco, I'd say Shayne is a lock for regionals.
3. You can run but you can't Hyde (Last week 6)- Steve's moving up the ranks. "Their souls are damned to rot in hell and keep the fire growing deep inside, Hell Awaits!" As Steve and I talked about this week he's had two Monday Night Nightmares that have gone in his favours. While his points for/points against margin isn't all that sexy he has a chance to take over top spot this week if he can take advantage of Coop's injury woes! Is this a predetermined result? Does Dawson have enough free will to put together a winning lineup? Time will tell.
4. NINERS (Last week 5)- Stan's squad put up some steady Eddie numbers all around and got the win. During the Nu Metal takeover of the late nineties Slayer released an album called Diabolus In Musica (The Devil In Music), most fans of the medium see this as a selling out point for the band as their sound incorporated a lot of the usual tropes. Maybe my undying loyalty has clouded my judgement but I kinda liked it. It wasn't different, but it included all of the musical dynamics that needed to be there to compete with the Limp Bizkit's and Static X's of the day. Stan's team may not be the sexiest in the league but his team is 3-1 and I'm foreseeing Stan's dark horse team tearing up the playoffs again this season.
5. The Keith-glorius Basterds (Last week 7)- "An unforeseen future nestled somewhere in time, unsuspecting victims no warnings, no signs. Judgement day, the second coming arrives! Before you see the light you must die!" From 0-2 to the top spot for the 2-2 teams. Keith's been biding his team like a viper in the grass and today he struck with his Megatron as a flex option deal. I mean seriously, Keith's WRs are so dominant Calvin is his flex? Watch out Dawson this vipers going to nip at your heels soon enough!
6. Clipboard Jesus (Last week 4)- Andrew's looking to for a little luck after two straight loses. "Patiently unleash my violence", don't count him out yet. His team is built around OBJ and the Seahawks when they under preforms it makes it a lot harder to pull out a win. But his heart is fully connected to his team and I'm in love with that concept. It's an office stand off this week between boss and life boss, it will be interesting to see who pulls out bragging rights.
7. The Fear Boners (Last week 3)- My team is linked to Andrew's in that my heart is squarely connected to my team. I love me some Titans, Eagles and Saints. If these guys don't win then I don't feel all that great. But at least I can check out this:
What can I say I'm a disciple of the idea of letting my heart guide when it comes to life and fantasy football. If the players on my team feel down, so do I.
8. My Ball Zack Ertz (Last week 8)- Aaron's looking to be a big time contender this week. "World painted blood, no sanctuary!" He has all the pieces in place for the first time this year, let's see if he lives up to the hype.
9. Scraps (Last week 11)- Winner of the Boner Bowl. Mike is my kryptonite, in fantasy not in life. I've always viewed the Boner Bowl as the matchup I'm destined to lose, despite all my planning. I guess it's only fitting to say that after putting in more then enough effort in the trading game and waiver wire, Mike's team is now "RAINING BLOOD!!!!!"
10. No Punt Intended (Last week 9)- Travis had a mountain to climb going into Monday night. As the Seahawks defence went, so did he and that meant they won/ he lost. This week is the first meeting of the two newest expansion teams (let's all try to think of a name for this) "Master the forces and powers of satan, controlling the creature's instinct. Draw to the castles that float the sky, learn to resist the temptation. Watching the angels sift through the heavens, endlessly searching for salvation." It's been a rough introduction into TFLOEG for the new owners, but the key is to control the moves you make and strike with all furious intention!
11. Layeth The Smacketh Down (Last week 12)- Curt has spent some "Seasons In The Abyss" when it comes to the PPRs. But, last week he got that treacherous first win out of the way and I there's lot to look forward to.
12. Las Vegas Posse (Last week 10)- It sucks being the last ranked player in the rankings. I don't really take a lot of pleasure in writing the last assessment of the team in the bottom. That being said Clarke's team has a lot to look forward to going into the future. Todd Gurley was a force in his second week of playing time and Dez is looking to come back after the Cowboy's bye week in two weeks. Clarke may be a rocket moving up the ranks in the coming weeks, the more important thing though (in my opinion) is that throughout it all he stuck to his guns. It's widely reported Clarke has said "I'm playing for next year", well due to your clever drafting of rookie phonemes and your WR corp coming back to full strength sooner rather then later "next year" may be this playoffs. It's only fitting to close off our PPRs this week with the song that most embodies Clarkes "devil may care" attitude to TFLOEG, Slayer's newest single:
Until next week
-The Commish
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