Power Powell Rankings- Week 7: The Inches We Need Are Everywhere Around Us...
As Andrew would say: "We get it John, you like football."
He's right, you know, about my personal enjoyment about this particular sport. I remember during my Memoirs of A Champ Post before last year I told you all that I liked to unbuckle my belt, remove my clothes and bare my shame/honesty to the world. I thought this was the truth, but upon a year's reflection I've learned this was only half right. I went on last season to go 0-5 and feel pretty low. It took me a while but I came to realize that I put a little too much of my self worth in this online competition and that the soul of the TFLOEG is not the invisible statue that none of us have ever gotten around to having made (although at this point I don't even know if I'd want one). No, the soul of the TFLOEG is a room that Aaron, Shayne, Stan and Steve have been dropped into unknowingly. That room is a large green and white room with boring grey tiles and a solitary jukebox surrounded by the football players. Across from the jukebox there is the kitchen where the poutine and overpriced puffed wheat squares are distributed by a lunch lady that possibly yelled at Dawson once (a cited clarification is needed to positively identify this event). Stationed directly two thirds of the total room length away from the lunch lady is a table. The lunch table. The TFLOEG's lunch table. It's the same table that Mike once preformed the full mooch, I returned Dawson's stolen school id card and, much like some Doug Gilmour evangelist, Curtis converted the triple threat from star trek cards to hockey cards. Well, the hockey cards are a metaphor for liking sports like other adolescent boys. That was more then a decade ago and we all grew up. We all have jobs, spouses (except for Mike, he's forever alone) and we've even started a second generation of this lunch table. We've all gotten busier, some of us have changed our views on things and others have simply changed their music habits (obviously both Dawson and Andrew still love Weird Al so I guess the more things change...). But, despite this and every rival group in the whole goddamn lunch room (outside of the RGP) splitting up and not holding on to what could be seen as the perfect stew of pubescent discovery and virginal social awkwardness; we never did. I've spent a lot of time this summer pondering this unusual fact. I've come to realize that there are things in life that we'll never fully understand. We'll make up some theories, cross reference these with emotional responses and form ideas about the subjects we encounter day to day. But, it's the people we know and the way we treat them that will forever define our mortal shells on this plain of existence. All of us are still compelled by some idea of what we think the TFLOEG is and we believe it's worth preserving. I'm a better man for knowing each of you for however short or long a time it has been and it's comforting to have an online lunch table that we can all check in on from time to time during the week. Albeit, Mike is up to his usual "Scraps" routine, don't believe me? Check out his waiver wire transactions from last week. Kenny Britt? Have some respect man.
Obviously that nude emotional memoir was in place to set up and serve this point, I like football and my favourite football movie is Varsity Blues. That being said Varsity Blues doesn't have very much to do with this weeks Power Powell Rankings outside of the prior paragraph. So, I have to admit my second favourite football movie is either The Program or Any Given Sunday. For the sake of the point I'm trying to make I'll give the tie to the later based on one four and half minute scene. If you've seen the movie you already know which one I'm talking about, if not catch up:
This speech is one of two movie speeches I listen to in order to bring me to a place where I want to be a badass and succeed at whatever I put my mind to. People have called me the matriarch of the McDirkenphowenns/TFLOEG family, so if you need a pep talk from your mother/commissioner to stop your pity party and get into the playoffs consider it this. Strike up the conversations, make the trade, seek out the One in the wire and gain that inch. The last week in fantasy was certainly one that lived up to the name of Any Given Sunday. An undefeated winner can fall and a winless team can put up a score rivalling all others:
1. The Fear Boners (Last Week 1): I got my first loss under my belt and it was only a matter of time. It stung a lot last night, but I only had myself to blame I got cute putting Teddy in against Detroit and I payed the price.
2. SideLiners (Last Week 2): At least Steve lost too. The undisputed reign of The Undefeated Brothers (by marriage) is over. It's too bad I thought it would have been awesome going into our matchup in two weeks both undefeated. There's always next year.
3. The NFL OWNER (Last Week 4): Shayne did some crafty maneuvering at 10:40am on Sunday. I know this because at 10:35am he still had Brian Hoyer as his QB2 who would have gotten him five points less then Carson Palmer and ensured his defeat to me. At that time he also had an inactive Calvin Johnson in his flex which he replaced with Jon Brown who scored 4.3 points more and also ensured his win over the Fear Boners. If this isn't a confirmation of Al Pacino's "Inch Theory" then I don't know what is. On the other side of the issue is the fact that this time his Last Minute Tampa Tinkering brought him glory. Redemption or is this the exception to the rule? All I'm saying is I wouldn't want to be Shayne's conscience on a Sunday morning before the games start.
4. The Keith-glorious Basterds (Last Week 3): Aaron's dominance over Keith in their lifetime head to head series continued in another blowout fashion. I have NO doubts Keith will be in the playoffs, but two weeks of loses and low point production will certainly be a factor in where he heads in in. Before your match-up this week Keith pop in Rocky 3 and skip to the end for encouragement! More on that reference later.
5. NINERS (Last Week 8): Stan put up a 150-burger on Andrew. This match-up was the most insane. his drafting of Tom Brady is looking genius and I can't wait to see how he continues on this season. You gotta love the underdog storyline!
6. AARON PRIMETIME CLAPPERTON (Last Week 9): If Keith is Rocky from Rocky 3 then I guess that would make Aaron: Cluber Lang. He's been training, stuck his nuts out by playing Blake Bortles and won! Enjoy the win, but don't become a parody of yourself like Mr. T. I won't even bother posting the "I pity this puck" video it's too cringeworthy.
7. Oh that's nasty (Last Week 6): Even though Dawson won it wasn't as flashy as his three other 3-3 compadres. That means a slide down the power poll, but a slide up the playoff push.
8. RW Throws A Sexy Deep Ball (Last Week 5): Only his record lands Andrew here. He put up the second most points in the entire league and lost. Those ones are the hardest, although LeSean broke out again. He's back and so is 'Drew. When you pay-up on the Starbucks bet, be safe and steer clear of the Pumpkin Spice Latte I hear it's quite deadly.
9. What Are The Chances? (Last Week 8): Curt got beat, but only just. He has a few good pieces in play. It may be time to look into trading for one or more consistent WR though to push him over the edge.
10. BISP (Last Week 10): Mike got a win and I flirted with moving him up the list, but i'd like to see him do it again next week.
Keep looking for those inches boys and if you do have a woman tell her you think:
Love you fellas...
-The Commish
He's right, you know, about my personal enjoyment about this particular sport. I remember during my Memoirs of A Champ Post before last year I told you all that I liked to unbuckle my belt, remove my clothes and bare my shame/honesty to the world. I thought this was the truth, but upon a year's reflection I've learned this was only half right. I went on last season to go 0-5 and feel pretty low. It took me a while but I came to realize that I put a little too much of my self worth in this online competition and that the soul of the TFLOEG is not the invisible statue that none of us have ever gotten around to having made (although at this point I don't even know if I'd want one). No, the soul of the TFLOEG is a room that Aaron, Shayne, Stan and Steve have been dropped into unknowingly. That room is a large green and white room with boring grey tiles and a solitary jukebox surrounded by the football players. Across from the jukebox there is the kitchen where the poutine and overpriced puffed wheat squares are distributed by a lunch lady that possibly yelled at Dawson once (a cited clarification is needed to positively identify this event). Stationed directly two thirds of the total room length away from the lunch lady is a table. The lunch table. The TFLOEG's lunch table. It's the same table that Mike once preformed the full mooch, I returned Dawson's stolen school id card and, much like some Doug Gilmour evangelist, Curtis converted the triple threat from star trek cards to hockey cards. Well, the hockey cards are a metaphor for liking sports like other adolescent boys. That was more then a decade ago and we all grew up. We all have jobs, spouses (except for Mike, he's forever alone) and we've even started a second generation of this lunch table. We've all gotten busier, some of us have changed our views on things and others have simply changed their music habits (obviously both Dawson and Andrew still love Weird Al so I guess the more things change...). But, despite this and every rival group in the whole goddamn lunch room (outside of the RGP) splitting up and not holding on to what could be seen as the perfect stew of pubescent discovery and virginal social awkwardness; we never did. I've spent a lot of time this summer pondering this unusual fact. I've come to realize that there are things in life that we'll never fully understand. We'll make up some theories, cross reference these with emotional responses and form ideas about the subjects we encounter day to day. But, it's the people we know and the way we treat them that will forever define our mortal shells on this plain of existence. All of us are still compelled by some idea of what we think the TFLOEG is and we believe it's worth preserving. I'm a better man for knowing each of you for however short or long a time it has been and it's comforting to have an online lunch table that we can all check in on from time to time during the week. Albeit, Mike is up to his usual "Scraps" routine, don't believe me? Check out his waiver wire transactions from last week. Kenny Britt? Have some respect man.
Obviously that nude emotional memoir was in place to set up and serve this point, I like football and my favourite football movie is Varsity Blues. That being said Varsity Blues doesn't have very much to do with this weeks Power Powell Rankings outside of the prior paragraph. So, I have to admit my second favourite football movie is either The Program or Any Given Sunday. For the sake of the point I'm trying to make I'll give the tie to the later based on one four and half minute scene. If you've seen the movie you already know which one I'm talking about, if not catch up:
This speech is one of two movie speeches I listen to in order to bring me to a place where I want to be a badass and succeed at whatever I put my mind to. People have called me the matriarch of the McDirkenphowenns/TFLOEG family, so if you need a pep talk from your mother/commissioner to stop your pity party and get into the playoffs consider it this. Strike up the conversations, make the trade, seek out the One in the wire and gain that inch. The last week in fantasy was certainly one that lived up to the name of Any Given Sunday. An undefeated winner can fall and a winless team can put up a score rivalling all others:
1. The Fear Boners (Last Week 1): I got my first loss under my belt and it was only a matter of time. It stung a lot last night, but I only had myself to blame I got cute putting Teddy in against Detroit and I payed the price.
2. SideLiners (Last Week 2): At least Steve lost too. The undisputed reign of The Undefeated Brothers (by marriage) is over. It's too bad I thought it would have been awesome going into our matchup in two weeks both undefeated. There's always next year.
3. The NFL OWNER (Last Week 4): Shayne did some crafty maneuvering at 10:40am on Sunday. I know this because at 10:35am he still had Brian Hoyer as his QB2 who would have gotten him five points less then Carson Palmer and ensured his defeat to me. At that time he also had an inactive Calvin Johnson in his flex which he replaced with Jon Brown who scored 4.3 points more and also ensured his win over the Fear Boners. If this isn't a confirmation of Al Pacino's "Inch Theory" then I don't know what is. On the other side of the issue is the fact that this time his Last Minute Tampa Tinkering brought him glory. Redemption or is this the exception to the rule? All I'm saying is I wouldn't want to be Shayne's conscience on a Sunday morning before the games start.
4. The Keith-glorious Basterds (Last Week 3): Aaron's dominance over Keith in their lifetime head to head series continued in another blowout fashion. I have NO doubts Keith will be in the playoffs, but two weeks of loses and low point production will certainly be a factor in where he heads in in. Before your match-up this week Keith pop in Rocky 3 and skip to the end for encouragement! More on that reference later.
5. NINERS (Last Week 8): Stan put up a 150-burger on Andrew. This match-up was the most insane. his drafting of Tom Brady is looking genius and I can't wait to see how he continues on this season. You gotta love the underdog storyline!
6. AARON PRIMETIME CLAPPERTON (Last Week 9): If Keith is Rocky from Rocky 3 then I guess that would make Aaron: Cluber Lang. He's been training, stuck his nuts out by playing Blake Bortles and won! Enjoy the win, but don't become a parody of yourself like Mr. T. I won't even bother posting the "I pity this puck" video it's too cringeworthy.
7. Oh that's nasty (Last Week 6): Even though Dawson won it wasn't as flashy as his three other 3-3 compadres. That means a slide down the power poll, but a slide up the playoff push.
8. RW Throws A Sexy Deep Ball (Last Week 5): Only his record lands Andrew here. He put up the second most points in the entire league and lost. Those ones are the hardest, although LeSean broke out again. He's back and so is 'Drew. When you pay-up on the Starbucks bet, be safe and steer clear of the Pumpkin Spice Latte I hear it's quite deadly.
9. What Are The Chances? (Last Week 8): Curt got beat, but only just. He has a few good pieces in play. It may be time to look into trading for one or more consistent WR though to push him over the edge.
10. BISP (Last Week 10): Mike got a win and I flirted with moving him up the list, but i'd like to see him do it again next week.
Keep looking for those inches boys and if you do have a woman tell her you think:
Love you fellas...
-The Commish
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