From The Desk Of The Commissioner
Good Afternoon Fellows,
What an exciting weekend of fantasy it was in Week 5. I got my fifth consecutive loss and am expecting a sixth this week (Peyton Manning against the Jaguars). Needless to say my season is not what I expected it to be.
An unfortunate side effect of this skid is that I hardly think my opinion is valid in terms of good/bad starts, sleepers and the like. So, for something completely different, I'll give you all a great story. I was reminded of it when Keith's "sleeper" RB celebrated his first TD of the season and then injured himself.
It was the summer of 1993 and my family had rented a cabin for a week. In the middle of the secluded area where all the cabins lay was a brilliant, blue swimming pool. It even had a diving board, what fun! On the first day there, I decided to learn how to backflip off the diving board; as a week long goal or something I suppose. Pardon the phrasing, but despite my best attempts in the first six days it was not going all together swimmingly. Front flips sure, double fronts no problem; but all I had to prove for my attempts for one, measly back flip was a red back so red it would make Keith's-cheeks-whenever-he-receives-a-call-from-Karalee-while-he's-with-the-guys look deathly pale by comparison. However, on that final day, I awoke earlier then usual to get the deed done. This was it! It had to be my time in the sun! I would do a back flip and make everyone back at home only slightly amused for only a few, fleeting seconds. I put on my still moist shorts, ate a bowl of corn pops, read an Archie comic while I waited the necessary twenty minutes before swimming (my maternal instincts were already in check at this point in life), and flung open the door... Only to see that my Mom had packed the car and we were going to take off early to be home for Tea Time. I've never eaten corn pops since, as they remind me of the back flip I've never completed. That brings me to the point of the story, the Zoodles on Toast for Tea were smashing and I suggest the bachelors in the league should try it out.
If you find my fantasy advice is suspect at this point I don't blame you. However, I assure you my knowledge of good-things-to-put-on-toast is at an all time high.
Good Luck This Week Chumps,
-The Commish
What an exciting weekend of fantasy it was in Week 5. I got my fifth consecutive loss and am expecting a sixth this week (Peyton Manning against the Jaguars). Needless to say my season is not what I expected it to be.
An unfortunate side effect of this skid is that I hardly think my opinion is valid in terms of good/bad starts, sleepers and the like. So, for something completely different, I'll give you all a great story. I was reminded of it when Keith's "sleeper" RB celebrated his first TD of the season and then injured himself.
It was the summer of 1993 and my family had rented a cabin for a week. In the middle of the secluded area where all the cabins lay was a brilliant, blue swimming pool. It even had a diving board, what fun! On the first day there, I decided to learn how to backflip off the diving board; as a week long goal or something I suppose. Pardon the phrasing, but despite my best attempts in the first six days it was not going all together swimmingly. Front flips sure, double fronts no problem; but all I had to prove for my attempts for one, measly back flip was a red back so red it would make Keith's-cheeks-whenever-he-receives-a-call-from-Karalee-while-he's-with-the-guys look deathly pale by comparison. However, on that final day, I awoke earlier then usual to get the deed done. This was it! It had to be my time in the sun! I would do a back flip and make everyone back at home only slightly amused for only a few, fleeting seconds. I put on my still moist shorts, ate a bowl of corn pops, read an Archie comic while I waited the necessary twenty minutes before swimming (my maternal instincts were already in check at this point in life), and flung open the door... Only to see that my Mom had packed the car and we were going to take off early to be home for Tea Time. I've never eaten corn pops since, as they remind me of the back flip I've never completed. That brings me to the point of the story, the Zoodles on Toast for Tea were smashing and I suggest the bachelors in the league should try it out.
If you find my fantasy advice is suspect at this point I don't blame you. However, I assure you my knowledge of good-things-to-put-on-toast is at an all time high.
Good Luck This Week Chumps,
-The Commish
Even with the good bit of fun at my expense, it's possible I enjoy John's childhood stories even more than posts about football and fantasy.
ReplyDelete